During my travels, I’ve spoken to a lot of wise people. As I have a very curious mind I asked a lot of questions and often discussed topics of life and other things that fascinate me. Usually, for hours, losing all sense of time. For example, the question, Who am I?
When you ask someone who they are, they will usually answer with their name or where they’re from. But you have a name, you are not the name. Same with our origin, it is “just” a place where we come from. If you go a little bit deeper some might identify with their body, but again we are not our bodies. We control our body, we see it as our own, but we are not our body. When we follow that question deeper we find our identity or ego but also these two are ours, not us… Same as we are not our thoughts. We are the observers, the only thing we can be really sure of is that we exist.
“I think therefore I am” Rene Descartes
What I find important to add at this point, is that my persona, my ego, my body are still a part of who I am. We are the sum of our parts. I usually identify with my most inner self, the observer, but that part of me is a sum of my experiences, memories and beliefs. I am shaped by my environment. So who am I really?
I think I still don’t have the answer for that question. At least not an answer that is satisfying. There are many possible answers to the question of who we are. Most of them have some truth in them but fail to grasp the whole picture, the whole self.
The conclusion that I’ve drawn for myself is that life is a game. I would also say that life is a simulation. Not like in the movie, The Matrix, but an organic one. One that I can shape (to some extent), as everything around me is a projection. Me as a player, I choose an Avatar/my body. The goal of the game is to experience life, to realize that it’s not about winning, but about playing. In order to be fully immersed in this cosmic game we forget that it’s a game. That’s it, it’s very simple. Living in the moment, experiencing life, in all its facets that’s the purpose we are here for. To become aware that life is a game. It is way more difficult than it sounds. Have you ever felt like your life goes in circles?
I certainly have. I believe that we repeat every cycle or loop until we learn the lesson it has to teach us. With each lesson learned, we rise to the next level, climbing upward along the spiral of life. At a certain stage we obtain enlightenment, I think. But that does not mean that the game is won or over.
“Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.” Zen Kōan
I am the architect and player of my experiences. I create them, consciously and unconsciously. My subconscious mind is especially responsible for much of my creation. The mind is like a quantum computer. If it is not maintained and directed consciously, it runs on autopilot. My vibe/mood is vital in shaping my reality. Depending on my vibrational frequency I have a great or shitty experience. My frequency is shaped by what I think, speak, and feel. If a lie is repeated and heard often enough it becomes a truth. So we have the power to condition ourselves. If we tell ourselves that we are not good enough, we don’t deserve that promotion or that person or whatever we tell ourselves it will become our truth and reality. Pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice. Being hurt is part of life; how we react to hurt is up to us, that is our choice. We can learn and grow or we can crawl up under our blanket and be miserable. Facing the pain and using it for growth is without a doubt more difficult than hiding, but it is also way more rewarding.
Through awareness and focus, I can tune and change my frequency.
By being present and living in the now, I become conscious of my thoughts and actions. To achieve anything a positive mindset is essential. You must believe it is possible and see success in your mind first. Otherwise, you set yourself up for failure. My words are spells.
When I speak, I create. The stories I tell myself and others shape my external world.
When you ate the last time, did you really experience eating or did you do a hundred things simultaneously while eating? In this modern lifestyle the most important thing gets lost. Gets lost in memories of the past or thoughts, fears and wishes for the future. Both do not really exist except in your mind. The only thing really happening is now. This moment, the always continuing present. Yes I know, I said earlier it’s simple, but simple does not always equal easy. Being present in a moment is one of the hardest things. I myself struggle more often than I want to admit of really living in the moment. When we are in a flow state and lose all sense of time, that’s when we tap into eternity, the infinite present. For me, it is while writing or painting, sometimes when having a good conversation or sex. Being grounded in the present is different for each individual. We have so many possibilities and opportunities nowadays that it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer flood of options.
Modern life offers comfort and convenience. Electricity, technology and constant stimulation make life easier. If we take lights for example, they are great for seeing in the dark, but they can also detach us from our natural rhythm. Food is no longer simply nourishment and energy. It can make us lethargic and disconnected. And please don’t get me wrong, I am a foodie and love cooking and eating. I consume consciously and take care of what I put into my body. I practise intermittent fasting. I take care of my body and my body takes care of me. I feel that many people are alive, but they are not truly living. They enslave themselves to fear, expectations and social structures. Living in alignment with one’s deeper nature is a skill that many have forgotten. Modern comfort is both a blessing and a curse. It protects us, but it can also keep us from discovering who we really are.
Instead of realizing that we are one with the universe, we often create more separation.
Labels, categories, and boundaries divide what is fundamentally one. Yes every phenomenon has two poles, there is light and shadow, feminine and masculine, Yin and Yang, but they are just two sides of the same thing. Duality allows movement, growth and transformation, but in truth, everything is connected. To name one example, let’s take the opposites hot and cold, both are temperature. Everything is everywhere, all at once. And in each living being there is a spark of the same divine source.
We are spiritual beings in a physical body having the experience of a lifetime. During our lifetime we are influenced and formed by so many things, that it can be overwhelming. To navigate through this jungle of possibilities can be difficult, especially in these modern times where we have to face a sheer flood of constant connection and information. Everything that I have written is my truth, my inner wisdom. It is my take on this big question: Who am I?
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